diff --git a/.gitignore b/.gitignore index 7c8a060..eca0953 100644 --- a/.gitignore +++ b/.gitignore @@ -1,2 +1,3 @@ .ipynb_checkpoints/ -*.json \ No newline at end of file +*.json +/logs diff --git a/index.html b/index.html index adc4e98..bcf1815 100644 --- a/index.html +++ b/index.html @@ -2,684 +2,353 @@ - - - Scrollers! - - + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + Document + -
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This is a small test page to test the behaviour of scrollers on an e-reader

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style="color: red"That's why this page is incredibly long! As I know the person testing this page is a fan, - please enjoy a copy of a hitchhikers guide to the galaxy (Chapter 1)

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Also, what color is this section, and my borders?

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Here are some more color tests:

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With some gray scales

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And various level of opacity

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My text can contain Links, and some italic or even highlighted, - bold and code'ed words! -

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If i want to display footnotes this can be done with sup's or sub's

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And what about some fancy corporate borders???

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And corporate shadows??

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- -
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Scrolllllers

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I hope you'll see a normal scrollbar on the right. I suspect this is the browsers default scrollbar. Below, - you'll find some input with the type of range, and i wonder if you'll be able to drag 'm around

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TL;DR

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too log didn't read

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This log was generated on 2024-03-18 16:04:58.608504, the next will be available after 2024-03-18 19:04:58.608504

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The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

-
Douglas Adams
-
for - Jonny Brock and Clare Gorst - and all other Arlingtonians - for tea, sympathy, and a sofa
-

Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a - small - unregarded yellow sun.

-

Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-two million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue green - planet - whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty - neat - idea.

-

This planet has - or rather had - a problem, which was this: most of the people on it were unhappy for pretty - much of - the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the - movements of small green pieces of paper, which is odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green - pieces of - paper that were unhappy.

-

And so the problem remained; lots of the people were mean, and most of them were miserable, even the ones - with - digital watches.

-

Many were increasingly of the opinion that they'd all made a big mistake in coming down from the trees - in the - first place. And some said that even the trees had been a bad move, and that no one should ever have left - the - oceans.

-

And then, one Thursday, nearly two thousand years after one man had been nailed to a tree for saying how - great it - would be to be nice to people for a change, one girl sitting on her own in a small cafe in Rickmansworth - suddenly - realized what it was that had been going wrong all this time, and she finally knew how the world could be - made a - good and happy place. This time it was right, it would work, and no one would have to get nailed to - anything.

-

Sadly, however, before she could get to a phone to tell anyone about it, a terribly stupid catastrophe - occ style="color: red"urred, and - the idea was lost forever.

-

This is not her story.

-

But it is the story of that terrible stupid catastrophe and some of its consequences.

-

It is also the story of a book, a book called The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - not an Earth book, - never - pub style="color: red"lished on Earth, and until the terrible catastrophe occurred, never seen or heard of - by any Earthman.

-

Nevertheless, a wholly remarkable book.

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in fact it was probably the most remarkable book ever to come out of the great publishing houses of Ursa - Minor - of - which no Earthman had ever heard either.

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Not only is it a wholly remarkable book, it is also a highly successful one - more popular than the - Celestial Home - Care Omnibus, better selling than Fifty More Things to do in Zero Gravity, and more controversial than Oolon - Colluphid's trilogy of philosophical blockbusters Where God Went Wrong, Some More of God's Greatest - Mistakes - and Who is this God Person Anyway? In many of the more relaxed civilizations on the Outer Eastern Rim of the - Galaxy, - the Hitch Hiker's Guide has already supplanted the great Encyclopedia Galactica as the standard - repository of - all knowledge

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and wisdom, for though it has many omissions and contains much that is apocryphal, or at least wildly - inaccurate, it - scores over the older, more pedestrian work in two important respects.

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First, it is slightly cheaper; and secondly it has the words Don't Panic inscribed in large friendly - letters on - its cover.

-

But the story of this terrible, stupid Thursday, the story of its extraordinary consequences, and the story - of how - these consequences are inextricably intertwined with this remarkable book begins very simply.

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It begins with a house.

-

Chapter 1

- -

The house stood on a slight rise just on the edge of the village. It stood on its own and looked over a broad - spread - of West Country farmland. Not a remarkable house by any means - it was about thirty years old, squattish, - squarish, - made of brick, and had four windows set in the front of a size and proportion which more or less exactly - failed to - please the eye.

-

The only person for whom the house was in any way special was Arthur Dent, and that was only because it - happened to - be the one he lived in. He had lived in it for about three years, ever since he had moved out of London - because it - mad style="color: red"e him nervous and irritable. He was about thirty as well, dark haired and never quite - at ease with - himself. The - thing that used to worry him most was the fact that people always used to ask him what he was looking so - worried - about. He worked in local radio which he always used to tell his friends was a lot more interesting than - they - probably thought. It was, too - most of his friends worked in advertising.

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style="color: red" It hadn't properly registered with Arthur that the council wanted to knock down his - house and build an - bypass - instead.

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At eight o'clock on Thursday morning Arthur didn't feel very good. He woke up blearily, got up, - wan style="color: red"dered - blearily round his room, opened a window, saw a bulldozer, found his slippers, and stomped off to the - bathroom to - wash.

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Toothpaste on the brush - so. Scrub.

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Shaving mirror - pointing at the ceiling. He adjusted it. For a moment it reflected a second bulldozer - through the - bathroom window. Properly adjusted, it reflected Arthur Dent's bristles. He shaved them off, washed, - dried, and - stomped off to the kitchen to find something pleasant to put in his mouth.

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Kettle, plug, fridge, milk, coffee. Yawn.

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style="color: red" The word bulldozer wandered through his mind for a moment in search of something to - connect with.

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The bulldozer outside the kitchen window was quite a big one.

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style="color: red" He stared at it.

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"Yellow," he thought and stomped off back to his bedroom to get dressed.

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Passing the bathroom he stopped to drink a large glass of water, and another. He began to suspect that he - was hung - over. Why was he hung over? Had he been drinking the night before? He supposed that he must have been. He - caught a - glint in the shaving mirror. "Yellow," he thought and stomped on to the bedroom.

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style="color: red" He stood and thought. The pub, he thought. Oh dear, the pub. He vaguely remembered being - angry, angry about - something that seemed important. He'd been telling people about it, telling people about it at great - length, he - rather suspected: his clearest visual recollection was of glazed looks on other people's faces.

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Something about a new bypass he had just found out about. It had been in the pipeline for months only no one - seemed - to have known about it. Ridiculous. He took a swig of water. It would sort itself out, he'd decided, no - one - wanted a bypass, the council didn't have a leg to stand on. It would sort itself out.

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God what a terrible hangover it had earned him though. He looked at himself in the wardrobe mirror.

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style="color: red" He stuck out his tongue. "Yellow," he thought. The word yellow wandered through - his mind in search - of - something to connect with.

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Fifteen seconds later he was out of the house and lying in front of a big yellow bulldozer that was - advancing up his - garden path.

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Mr L Prosser was, as they say, only human. In other words he was a carbon-based life form descended from an - ape. - More specifically he was forty, fat and shabby and worked for the local council. Curiously enough, though he - didn't know it, he was also a direct male-line descendant of Genghis Khan, though intervening - generations and - racial mixing had so juggled his genes that he had no discernible Mongoloid characteristics, and the only - vestiges - lef style="color: red"t in Mr L Prosser of his mighty ancestry were a pronounced stoutness about the tum and - a predilection for - little - fur hats.

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He was by no means a great warrior: in fact he was a nervous worried man. Today he was particularly nervous - and - worried because something had gone seriously wrong with his job - which was to see that Arthur Dent's - house got - cle style="color: red"ared out of the way before the day was out.

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"Come off it, Mr Dent,", he said, "you can't win you know. You can't lie in front of - the - bulldozer indefinitely." He tried to make his eyes blaze fiercely but they just wouldn't do it.

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Arthur lay in the mud and squelched at him.

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"I'm game," he said, "we'll see who rusts first." "I'm afraid - you're going - to have to accept it," said Mr Prosser gripping his fur hat and rolling it round the top of his head, - "this bypass has got to be built and it's going to be built!" "First I've heard of - it," - said Arthur, "why's it going to be built?" Mr Prosser shook his finger at him for a bit, then - stopped - and put it away again.

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"What do you mean, why's it got to be built?" he said. "It's a bypass. You've got - to - build bypasses." Bypasses are devices which allow some people to drive from point A to point B very - fast whilst - other people dash from point B to point A very fast. People living at point C, being a point directly in - between, - are often given to wonder what's so great about point A that so many people of point B are so keen to - get there, - and what's so great about point B that so many people of point A are so keen to get there.

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They often wish that people would just once and for all work out where the hell they wanted to be.

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Mr Prosser wanted to be at point D. Point D wasn't anywhere in particular, it was just any convenient - point a - very long way from points A, B and C. He would have a nice little cottage at point D, with axes over the - door, and - spend a pleasant amount of time at point E, which would be the nearest pub to point D. His wife of course - wanted - climbing roses, but he wanted axes. He didn't know why - he just liked axes. He flushed hotly under the - derisive - grins of the bulldozer drivers.

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He shifted his weight from foot to foot, but it was equally uncomfortable on each. Obviously somebody had - been - appallingly incompetent and he hoped to God it wasn't him.

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Mr Prosser said: "You were quite entitled to make any suggestions or protests at the appropriate time - you - know." "Appropriate time?" hooted Arthur. "Appropriate time? The first I knew about it - was when - a workman arrived at my home yesterday. I asked him if he'd come to clean the windows and he said no - he'd - come to demolish the house. He didn't tell me straight away of course. Oh no. First he wiped a couple of - windows - and charged me a fiver. Then he told me." "But Mr Dent, the plans have been available in the local - planning office for the last nine month." "Oh yes, well as soon as I heard I went straight round - to see - them, yesterday afternoon. You hadn't exactly gone out of your way to call attention to them had you? I - mean - like actually telling anybody or anything." "But the plans were on display ..." "On - display? I - eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them." "That's the display department." - "With a torch."

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"Ah, well the lights had probably gone." "So had the stairs." "But look, you found - the - notice didn't you?" "Yes," said Arthur, "yes I did. It was on display in the bottom - of a - locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying Beware of the - Leopard." A - cloud passed overhead. It cast a shadow over Arthur Dent as he lay propped up on his elbow in the cold mud. - It cast - a shadow over Arthur Dent's house. Mr Prosser frowned at it.

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"It's not as if it's a particularly nice house," he said.

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"I'm sorry, but I happen to like it." "You'll like the bypass." "Oh shut - up," - said Arthur Dent. "Shut up and go away, and take your bloody bypass with you. You haven't got a leg - to - stand on and you know it." Mr Prosser's mouth opened and closed a couple of times while his mind - was for a - moment filled with inexplicable but terribly attractive visions of Arthur Dent's house being consumed - with fire - and Arthur himself running screaming from the blazing ruin with at least three hefty spears protruding from - his - back.

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style="color: red" Mr Prosser was often bothered with visions like these and they made him feel very - nervous. He stuttered for - a moment - and then pulled himself together.

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"Mr Dent," he said.

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"Hello? Yes?" said Arthur.

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"Some factual information for you. Have you any idea how much damage that bulldozer would suffer if I - just let - it roll straight over you?" "How much?" said Arthur.

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"None at all," said Mr Prosser, and stormed nervously off wondering why his brain was filled with - a - thousand hairy horsemen all shouting at him.

-

By a curious coincidence, None at all is exactly how much suspicion the ape-descendant Arthur Dent had that - one of - his closest friends was not descended from an ape, but was in fact from a small planet in the vicinity of - Betelgeuse - and not from Guildford as he usually claimed.

-

Arthur Dent had never, ever suspected this.

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This friend of his had first arrived on the planet some fifteen Earth years previously, and he had worked - hard to - blend himself into Earth society - with, it must be said, some success. For instance he had spent those - fifteen - years pretending to be an out of work actor, which was plausible enough.

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He had made one careless blunder though, because he had skimped a bit on his preparatory research. The - information - he style="color: red"had gathered had led him to choose the name "Ford Prefect" as being nicely - inconspicuous.

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He was not conspicuously tall, his features were striking but not conspicuously handsome. His hair was wiry - and - gingerish and brushed backwards from the temples. His skin seemed to be pulled backwards from the nose. - There was - something very slightly odd about him, but it was difficult to say what it was. Perhaps it was that his eyes - didn't blink often enough and when you talked to him for any length of time your eyes began - involuntarily to - water on his behalf. Perhaps it was that he smiled slightly too broadly and gave people the unnerving - impression - that he was about to go for their neck.

-

He struck most of the friends he had made on Earth as an eccentric, but a harmless one -- an unruly boozer - with some - oddish habits. For instance he would often gatecrash university parties, get badly drunk and start making - fun of any - astrophysicist he could find till he got thrown out.

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Sometimes he would get seized with oddly distracted moods and stare into the sky as if hypnotized until - someone - asked him what he was doing. Then he would start guiltily for a moment, relax and grin.

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"Oh, just looking for flying saucers," he would joke and everyone would laugh and ask him what - sort of - flying saucers he was looking for.

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"Green ones!" he would reply with a wicked grin, laugh wildly for a moment and then suddenly lunge - for the - nearest bar and buy an enormous round of drinks.

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Evenings like this usually ended badly. Ford would get out of his skull on whisky, huddle into a corner with - some - gir style="color: red"l and explain to her in slurred phrases that honestly the colour of the flying saucers - didn't matter - that - much really.

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Thereafter, staggering semi-paralytic down the night streets he would often ask passing policemen if they - knew the - way to Betelgeuse. The policemen would usually say something like, "Don't you think it's about - time you - went off home sir?" "I'm trying to baby, I'm trying to," is what Ford invariably - replied on - these occasions.

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style="color: red" In fact what he was really looking out for when he stared distractedly into the night sky - was any kind of - flying - saucer at all. The reason he said green was that green was the traditional space livery of the Betelgeuse - trading - scouts.

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Ford Prefect was desperate that any flying saucer at all would arrive soon because fifteen years was a long - time to - get stranded anywhere, particularly somewhere as mindboggingly dull as the Earth.

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Ford wished that a flying saucer would arrive soon because he knew how to flag flying saucers down and get - lifts - from them. He knew how to see the Marvels of the Universe for less than thirty Altairan dollars a day.

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In fact, Ford Prefect was a roving researcher for that wholly remarkable book The Hitch Hiker's Guide to - the - Galaxy.

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Human beings are great adaptors, and by lunchtime life in the environs of Arthur's house had settled - into a - steady routine. It was Arthur's accepted role to lie squelching in the mud making occasional demands to - see his - lawyer, his mother or a good book; it was Mr Prosser's accepted role to tackle Arthur with the - occasional new - ploy such as the For the Public Good talk, the March of Progress talk, the They Knocked My House Down Once - You Know, - Never Looked Back talk and various other cajoleries and threats; and it was the bulldozer drivers' - accepted role - to sit around drinking coffee and experimenting with union regulations to see how they could turn the - situation to - their financial advantage.

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The Earth moved slowly in its diurnal course.

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The sun was beginning to dry out the mud Arthur lay in.

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A shadow moved across him again.

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"Hello Arthur," said the shadow.

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Arthur looked up and squinting into the sun was startled to see Ford Prefect standing above him.

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"Ford! Hello, how are you?" "Fine," said Ford, "look, are you busy?" "Am - I - busy?" exclaimed Arthur. "Well, I've just got all these bulldozers and things to lie in front - of - because they'll knock my house down if I don't, but other than that ... well, no not especially, - why?" - They don't have sarcasm on Betelgeuse, and Ford Prefect often failed to notice it unless he was - concentrating. - He said, "Good, is there anywhere we can talk?" "What?" said Arthur Dent.

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style="color: red" For a few seconds Ford seemed to ignore him, and stared fixedly into the sky like a - rabbit trying to get run - over by - a car. Then suddenly he squatted down beside Arthur.

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"We've got to talk," he said urgently.

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"Fine," said Arthur, "talk." "And drink," said Ford. "It's vitally - important - that we talk and drink. Now. We'll go to the pub in the village." He looked into the sky again, - nervous, - expectant.

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"Look, don't you understand?" shouted Arthur. He pointed at Prosser. "That man wants to - knock my - house down!" Ford glanced at him, puzzled.

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"Well he can do it while you're away can't he?" he asked.

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"But I don't want him to!" "Ah."

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"Look, what's the matter with you Ford?" said Arthur.

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"Nothing. Nothing's the matter. Listen to me - I've got to tell you the most important thing - you've - ever heard. I've got to tell you now, and I've got to tell you in the saloon bar of the Horse and - Gro style="color: red"om." "But why?" "Because you are going to need a very stiff - drink." Ford stared - at - Arthur, and Arthur was astonished to find that his will was beginning to weaken. He didn't realize that - this was - because of an old drinking game that Ford learned to play in the hyperspace ports that served the madranite - mining - belts in the star system of Orion Beta.

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The game was not unlike the Earth game called Indian Wrestling, and was played like this: Two contestants - would sit - either side of a table, with a glass in front of each of them.

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Between them would be placed a bottle of Janx Spirit (as immortalized in that ancient Orion mining song - "Oh - don't give me none more of that Old Janx Spirit/ No, don't you give me none more of that Old Janx - Spirit/ - For my head will fly, my tongue will lie, my eyes will fry and I may die/ Won't you pour me one more of - that - sinful Old Janx Spirit").

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Each of the two contestants would then concentrate their will on the bottle and attempt to tip it and pour - spirit - into the glass of his opponent - who would then have to drink it.

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The bottle would then be refilled. The game would be played again. And again.

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Once you started to lose you would probably keep losing, because one of the effects of Janx spirit is to - depress - telepsychic power.

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style="color: red" As soon as a predetermined quantity had been consumed, the final loser would have to - perform a forfeit, - which was - usually obscenely biological.

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Ford Prefect usually played to lose.

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style="color: red" Ford stared at Arthur, who began to think that perhaps he did want to go to the Horse and - Groom after all. -

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"But what about my house ...?" he asked plaintively.

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Ford looked across to Mr Prosser, and suddenly a wicked thought struck him.

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"He wants to knock your house down?" "Yes, he wants to build ..." "And he can't - because - you're lying in front of the bulldozers?" "Yes, and ..." "I'm sure we can come - to some - arrangement," said Ford. "Excuse me!" he shouted.

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Mr Prosser (who was arguing with a spokesman for the bulldozer drivers about whether or not Arthur Dent - constituted - a mental health hazard, and how much they should get paid if he did) looked around. He was surprised and - slightly - alarmed to find that Arthur had company.

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"Yes? Hello?" he called. "Has Mr Dent come to his senses yet?" "Can we for the - moment," called Ford, "assume that he hasn't?" "Well?" sighed Mr Prosser.

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"And can we also assume," said Ford, "that he's going to be staying here all day?" - "So?" "So all your men are going to be standing around all day doing nothing?" - "Could be, - could be ..." "Well, if you're resigned to doing that anyway, you don't actually need him - to lie - here all the time do you?" "What?" "You don't," said Ford patiently, - "actually - need him here." Mr Prosser thought about this.

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"Well no, not as such...", he said, "not exactly need ..." Prosser was worried. He - thought that - one of them wasn't making a lot of sense.

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Ford said, "So if you would just like to take it as read that he's actually here, then he and I - could slip - off down to the pub for half an hour. How does that sound?" Mr Prosser thought it sounded perfectly - potty.

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"That sounds perfectly reasonable," he said in a reassuring tone of voice, wondering who he was - trying to - reassure.

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"And if you want to pop off for a quick one yourself later on," said Ford, "we can always - cover up - for you in return." "Thank you very much," said Mr Prosser who no longer knew how to play - this at - all, "thank you very much, yes, that's very kind ..." He frowned, then smiled, then tried to - do both - at once, failed, grasped hold of his fur hat and rolled it fitfully round the top of his head. He could only - assume - that he had just won.

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"So," continued Ford Prefect, "if you would just like to come over here and lie down - ..." - "What?" said Mr Prosser.

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"Ah, I'm sorry," said Ford, "perhaps I hadn't made myself fully clear. Somebody's - got to - lie in front of the bulldozers haven't they? Or there won't be anything to stop them driving into Mr - Dent's house will there?" "What?" said Mr Prosser again.

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"It's very simple," said Ford, "my client, Mr Dent, says that he will stop lying here in - the mud - on the sole condition that you come and take over from him." "What are you talking about?" - said - Arthur, but Ford nudged him with his shoe to be quiet.

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"You want me," said Mr Prosser, spelling out this new thought to himself, "to come and lie - there - ..." "Yes." "In front of the bulldozer?" "Yes." "Instead of Mr - Dent." - "Yes." "In the mud." "In, as you say it, the mud." As soon as Mr Prosser - realized that - he was substantially the loser after all, it was as if a weight lifted itself off his shoulders: this was - more like - the world as he knew it. He sighed.

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"In return for which you will take Mr Dent with you down to the pub?" "That's it," - said - Ford. "That's it exactly." Mr Prosser took a few nervous steps forward and stopped.

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"Promise?" "Promise," said Ford. He turned to Arthur.

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"Come on," he said to him, "get up and let the man lie down." Arthur stood up, feeling - as if he - was in a dream.

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Ford beckoned to Prosser who sadly, awkwardly, sat down in the mud. He felt that his whole life was some - kind of - dre style="color: red"am and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it. The mud - folded itself round - his - bottom and his arms and oozed into his shoes.

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Ford looked at him severely.

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"And no sneaky knocking down Mr Dent's house whilst he's away, alright?" he said.

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"The mere thought," growled Mr Prosser, "hadn't even begun to speculate," he - continued, - settling himself back, "about the merest possibility of crossing my mind." He saw the bulldozer - driver's union representative approaching and let his head sink back and closed his eyes. He was trying - to - marshal his arguments for proving that he did not now constitute a mental health hazard himself. He was far - from - certain about this - his mind seemed to be full of noise, horses, smoke, and the stench of blood. This - always - happened when he felt miserable and put upon, and he had never been able to explain it to himself. In a high - dimension of which we know nothing the mighty Khan bellowed with rage, but Mr Prosser only trembled slightly - and - whi style="color: red"mpered. He began to fell little pricks of water

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behind the eyelids. Bureaucratic cock-ups, angry men lying in the mud, indecipherable strangers handing out - inexplicable humiliations and an unidentified army of horsemen laughing at him in his head - what a day.

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What a day. Ford Prefect knew that it didn't matter a pair of dingo's kidneys whether Arthur's - house got - knocked down or not now.

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Arthur remained very worried.

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"But can we trust him?" he said.

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"Myself I'd trust him to the end of the Earth," said Ford.

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"Oh yes," said Arthur, "and how far's that?" "About twelve minutes away," - said - Ford, "come on, I need a drink."

+

What happened today?

+ +
uptime -s
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2024-03-18 07:51:34

+ + + This is common, the fragility of these machines are more prominant than any cloud user expects. Partially because of scale, partially because a lot of labour that happen in datacenters just escapes us all when we want to just upload an image. + + + + +

the ones below do not have the "right" annotation levels

+ +
last_user_added
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Feb 29 15:08:48 chopchop useradd[8744]: new user: name=colord, UID=118, GID=130, home=/var/lib/colord, shell=/usr/sbin/nologin, from=/dev/pts/4 + + + + A level 1 annotation for last_user_added + + + +

users_created_today
+

-- No entries -- + + + + A level 1 annotation for users_created_today + + + +

list_active_services
+

[ - ] alsa-utils + [ - ] apparmor + [ + ] atop + [ + ] atopacct + [ + ] bluetooth + [ - ] console-setup.sh + [ + ] cron + [ + ] cups + [ + ] cups-browsed + [ + ] dbus + [ + ] dphys-swapfile + [ + ] exim4 + [ + ] fake-hwclock + [ - ] fcgiwrap + [ - ] hwclock.sh + [ + ] incron + [ - ] keyboard-setup.sh + [ + ] kmod + [ + ] networking + [ - ] nfs-common + [ + ] nginx + [ - ] paxctld + [ - ] php7.4-fpm + [ + ] php8.2-fpm + [ + ] procps + [ - ] pulseaudio-enable-autospawn + [ + ] raspi-config + [ + ] rng-tools-debian + [ - ] rpcbind + [ - ] rsync + [ - ] saned + [ + ] ssh + [ - ] sudo + [ + ] triggerhappy + [ + ] udev + [ - ] uuidd + [ - ] x11-common + + + + A level 1 annotation for list_active_services + + + +

list_groups
+

root:x:0: +daemon:x:1: +bin:x:2: +sys:x:3: +adm:x:4:xpub +tty:x:5: +disk:x:6: +lp:x:7:aleevadh,bernabereit,lorenzo,mania,mszw,mxrwho,river,senak,thijsoid,v,vitrinekast,wang,xpub,xpub,zerozeta,zz1,www-data +mail:x:8: +news:x:9: +uucp:x:10: +man:x:12: +proxy:x:13: +kmem:x:15: +dialout:x:20:xpub,mb,river,joak,aleevadh,bernabereit,lorenzo,mania,mszw,mxrwho,river,senak,thijsoid,v,vitrinekast,wang,xpub,zerozeta,zz1,murtaugh,mb +fax:x:21: +voice:x:22: +cdrom:x:24:xpub +floppy:x:25: +tape:x:26: +sudo:x:27:joak,aleevadh,bernabereit,lorenzo,mania,mszw,mxrwho,river,senak,thijsoid,v,vitrinekast,wang,xpub,zerozeta,zz1,murtaugh,mb,strt,cristina,chipchip,killer +audio:x:29:xpub,river,pulse,vitrinekast,liquidsoap +dip:x:30: +www-data:x:33:vitrinekast +backup:x:34: +operator:x:37: +list:x:38: +irc:x:39: +src:x:40: +gnats:x:41: +shadow:x:42: +utmp:x:43: +video:x:44:xpub +sasl:x:45: +plugdev:x:46:xpub +staff:x:50: +games:x:60:xpub +users:x:100:xpub,murtaugh,aleevadh,h4ck3r,mania,mszw,mxrwho,senak,v,wang,zerozeta,bernabereit,lorenzo,mb,river,thijsoid,vitrinekast,zz1,joak,cristina,strt,chipchip,killer +nogroup:x:65534: +systemd-journal:x:101: +systemd-network:x:102: +systemd-resolve:x:103: +input:x:104:xpub +kvm:x:105: +render:x:106:xpub +crontab:x:107: +netdev:x:108:xpub +systemd-timesync:x:109: +messagebus:x:110: +bluetooth:x:112: +avahi:x:113: +spi:x:999:xpub +i2c:x:998:xpub +gpio:x:997:xpub +systemd-coredump:x:996: +xpub:x:1000: +vitrinekast:x:1001: +senak:x:1002: +lorenzo:x:1003: +mxrwho:x:1004: +bernabereit:x:1005: +river:x:1006: +v:x:1007: +mania:x:1008: +aleevadh:x:1009: +h4ck3r:x:1010: +thijsoid:x:1011: +mszw:x:1012: +zerozeta:x:1013: +wang:x:1014: +zz1:x:1015: +Debian-exim:x:114: +rtkit:x:115: +murtaugh:x:1017: +mb:x:1016: +pulse:x:116: +pulse-access:x:117: +mlocate:x:118: +uuidd:x:119: +joak:x:1018: +sgx:x:120: +plocate:x:121: +polkitd:x:995: +_ssh:x:111: +pipewire:x:122: +cristina:x:1019: +strt:x:1020: +incron:x:123: +chipchip:x:1021: +killer:x:1022: +tcpdump:x:124: +liquidsoap:x:125: +lpadmin:x:126:river,xpub +ssl-cert:x:127: +scanner:x:128:saned +saned:x:129: +colord:x:130: + + + + A level 1 annotation for list_groups + + + + +

list_package_installs
+

2024-03-10 15:16:14 install libtk8.6:armhf 8.6.13-2 +2024-03-10 15:16:14 status half-installed libtk8.6:armhf 8.6.13-2 +2024-03-10 15:16:15 install tk8.6-blt2.5:armhf 2.5.3+dfsg-4.1 +2024-03-10 15:16:15 status half-installed tk8.6-blt2.5:armhf 2.5.3+dfsg-4.1 +2024-03-10 15:16:15 install blt:armhf 2.5.3+dfsg-4.1 +2024-03-10 15:16:15 status half-installed blt:armhf 2.5.3+dfsg-4.1 +2024-03-10 15:16:15 install python3-tk:armhf 3.11.2-3 +2024-03-10 15:16:15 status half-installed python3-tk:armhf 3.11.2-3 +2024-03-10 15:16:16 status installed libtk8.6:armhf 8.6.13-2 +2024-03-10 15:16:16 status installed tk8.6-blt2.5:armhf 2.5.3+dfsg-4.1 +2024-03-10 15:16:16 status installed blt:armhf 2.5.3+dfsg-4.1 +2024-03-10 15:16:16 status installed python3-tk:armhf 3.11.2-3 +2024-03-10 15:16:16 status installed libc-bin:armhf 2.36-9+rpt2+deb12u4 +2024-03-12 14:29:01 install python3-markupsafe:armhf 2.1.2-1 +2024-03-12 14:29:01 status half-installed python3-markupsafe:armhf 2.1.2-1 +2024-03-12 14:29:02 install python3-jinja2:all 3.1.2-1 +2024-03-12 14:29:02 status half-installed python3-jinja2:all 3.1.2-1 +2024-03-12 14:29:02 status installed python3-markupsafe:armhf 2.1.2-1 +2024-03-12 14:29:03 status installed python3-jinja2:all 3.1.2-1 +2024-03-15 09:51:48 install libhttp-parser2.9:armhf 2.9.4-5 +2024-03-15 09:51:48 status half-installed libhttp-parser2.9:armhf 2.9.4-5 +2024-03-15 09:51:48 install libmbedx509-1:armhf 2.28.3-1 +2024-03-15 09:51:48 status half-installed libmbedx509-1:armhf 2.28.3-1 +2024-03-15 09:51:48 install libmbedtls14:armhf 2.28.3-1 +2024-03-15 09:51:48 status half-installed libmbedtls14:armhf 2.28.3-1 +2024-03-15 09:51:48 install libgit2-1.5:armhf 1.5.1+ds-1+deb12u1 +2024-03-15 09:51:48 status half-installed libgit2-1.5:armhf 1.5.1+ds-1+deb12u1 +2024-03-15 09:51:49 install bat:armhf 0.22.1-4 +2024-03-15 09:51:49 status half-installed bat:armhf 0.22.1-4 +2024-03-15 09:51:50 status installed libmbedx509-1:armhf 2.28.3-1 +2024-03-15 09:51:50 status installed libmbedtls14:armhf 2.28.3-1 +2024-03-15 09:51:50 status installed libhttp-parser2.9:armhf 2.9.4-5 +2024-03-15 09:51:50 status installed libgit2-1.5:armhf 1.5.1+ds-1+deb12u1 +2024-03-15 09:51:50 status installed bat:armhf 0.22.1-4 +2024-03-15 09:51:50 status installed libc-bin:armhf 2.36-9+rpt2+deb12u4 +2024-03-15 09:55:52 status installed bat:armhf 0.22.1-4 +2024-03-15 09:55:52 status half-installed bat:armhf 0.22.1-4 +2024-03-15 09:55:52 status not-installed bat:armhf + + + + A level 1 annotation for list_package_installs + + + +

list_package_upgrade
+

+ + + A level 1 annotation for list_package_upgrade + + + +

list_package_remove
+

2024-03-15 09:55:52 startup packages remove +2024-03-15 09:55:52 remove bat:armhf 0.22.1-4 + + + + A level 1 annotation for list_package_remove + + + +

device_info
+

Raspberry Pi 4 Model B Rev 1.4 + + + A level 1 annotation for device_info + + + +

debian_version
+

12.1 + + + + A level 1 annotation for debian_version + + + +

kernel_version
+

Linux chopchop 6.1.65-v8+ #1703 SMP PREEMPT Tue Dec 5 16:25:41 GMT 2023 aarch64 GNU/Linux + + + + A level 1 annotation for kernel_version + +

+
- + - - - + - - \ No newline at end of file + }); + + + + + + diff --git a/script.py b/script.py index 992085d..bf8e82f 100644 --- a/script.py +++ b/script.py @@ -46,6 +46,10 @@ output = template.render( days_since_last_boot = time_since_last_boot.days ) +log_file_name = "logs/log_" + now.strftime("%Y-%m-%d_%H:%M:%S") + ".html" -with open("output.html", "w") as f: +with open("index.html", "w") as f: + print(output, file=f) + +with open(log_file_name, "w") as f: print(output, file=f) \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/test-page-ereader.html b/test-page-ereader.html new file mode 100644 index 0000000..adc4e98 --- /dev/null +++ b/test-page-ereader.html @@ -0,0 +1,685 @@ + + + + + + + Scrollers! + + + + + +
+

This is a small test page to test the behaviour of scrollers on an e-reader

+

style="color: red"That's why this page is incredibly long! As I know the person testing this page is a fan, + please enjoy a copy of a hitchhikers guide to the galaxy (Chapter 1)

+

Also, what color is this section, and my borders?

+
+
+

Here are some more color tests:

+ +

With some gray scales

+ +

And various level of opacity

+ +

My text can contain Links, and some italic or even highlighted, + bold and code'ed words! +

+

If i want to display footnotes this can be done with sup's or sub's

+

And what about some fancy corporate borders???

+ +

And corporate shadows??

+ +
+ +
+

Scrolllllers

+

I hope you'll see a normal scrollbar on the right. I suspect this is the browsers default scrollbar. Below, + you'll find some input with the type of range, and i wonder if you'll be able to drag 'm around

+ +
+ + +
+

+
+        
+ + +
+ +
+ +
+

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

+
Douglas Adams
+
for + Jonny Brock and Clare Gorst + and all other Arlingtonians + for tea, sympathy, and a sofa
+

Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a + small + unregarded yellow sun.

+

Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-two million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue green + planet + whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty + neat + idea.

+

This planet has - or rather had - a problem, which was this: most of the people on it were unhappy for pretty + much of + the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the + movements of small green pieces of paper, which is odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green + pieces of + paper that were unhappy.

+

And so the problem remained; lots of the people were mean, and most of them were miserable, even the ones + with + digital watches.

+

Many were increasingly of the opinion that they'd all made a big mistake in coming down from the trees + in the + first place. And some said that even the trees had been a bad move, and that no one should ever have left + the + oceans.

+

And then, one Thursday, nearly two thousand years after one man had been nailed to a tree for saying how + great it + would be to be nice to people for a change, one girl sitting on her own in a small cafe in Rickmansworth + suddenly + realized what it was that had been going wrong all this time, and she finally knew how the world could be + made a + good and happy place. This time it was right, it would work, and no one would have to get nailed to + anything.

+

Sadly, however, before she could get to a phone to tell anyone about it, a terribly stupid catastrophe + occ style="color: red"urred, and + the idea was lost forever.

+

This is not her story.

+

But it is the story of that terrible stupid catastrophe and some of its consequences.

+

It is also the story of a book, a book called The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - not an Earth book, + never + pub style="color: red"lished on Earth, and until the terrible catastrophe occurred, never seen or heard of + by any Earthman.

+

Nevertheless, a wholly remarkable book.

+

in fact it was probably the most remarkable book ever to come out of the great publishing houses of Ursa + Minor - of + which no Earthman had ever heard either.

+

Not only is it a wholly remarkable book, it is also a highly successful one - more popular than the + Celestial Home + Care Omnibus, better selling than Fifty More Things to do in Zero Gravity, and more controversial than Oolon + Colluphid's trilogy of philosophical blockbusters Where God Went Wrong, Some More of God's Greatest + Mistakes + and Who is this God Person Anyway? In many of the more relaxed civilizations on the Outer Eastern Rim of the + Galaxy, + the Hitch Hiker's Guide has already supplanted the great Encyclopedia Galactica as the standard + repository of + all knowledge

+

and wisdom, for though it has many omissions and contains much that is apocryphal, or at least wildly + inaccurate, it + scores over the older, more pedestrian work in two important respects.

+

First, it is slightly cheaper; and secondly it has the words Don't Panic inscribed in large friendly + letters on + its cover.

+

But the story of this terrible, stupid Thursday, the story of its extraordinary consequences, and the story + of how + these consequences are inextricably intertwined with this remarkable book begins very simply.

+

It begins with a house.

+

Chapter 1

+ +

The house stood on a slight rise just on the edge of the village. It stood on its own and looked over a broad + spread + of West Country farmland. Not a remarkable house by any means - it was about thirty years old, squattish, + squarish, + made of brick, and had four windows set in the front of a size and proportion which more or less exactly + failed to + please the eye.

+

The only person for whom the house was in any way special was Arthur Dent, and that was only because it + happened to + be the one he lived in. He had lived in it for about three years, ever since he had moved out of London + because it + mad style="color: red"e him nervous and irritable. He was about thirty as well, dark haired and never quite + at ease with + himself. The + thing that used to worry him most was the fact that people always used to ask him what he was looking so + worried + about. He worked in local radio which he always used to tell his friends was a lot more interesting than + they + probably thought. It was, too - most of his friends worked in advertising.

+

style="color: red" It hadn't properly registered with Arthur that the council wanted to knock down his + house and build an + bypass + instead.

+

At eight o'clock on Thursday morning Arthur didn't feel very good. He woke up blearily, got up, + wan style="color: red"dered + blearily round his room, opened a window, saw a bulldozer, found his slippers, and stomped off to the + bathroom to + wash.

+

Toothpaste on the brush - so. Scrub.

+

Shaving mirror - pointing at the ceiling. He adjusted it. For a moment it reflected a second bulldozer + through the + bathroom window. Properly adjusted, it reflected Arthur Dent's bristles. He shaved them off, washed, + dried, and + stomped off to the kitchen to find something pleasant to put in his mouth.

+

Kettle, plug, fridge, milk, coffee. Yawn.

+

style="color: red" The word bulldozer wandered through his mind for a moment in search of something to + connect with.

+

The bulldozer outside the kitchen window was quite a big one.

+

style="color: red" He stared at it.

+

"Yellow," he thought and stomped off back to his bedroom to get dressed.

+

Passing the bathroom he stopped to drink a large glass of water, and another. He began to suspect that he + was hung + over. Why was he hung over? Had he been drinking the night before? He supposed that he must have been. He + caught a + glint in the shaving mirror. "Yellow," he thought and stomped on to the bedroom.

+

style="color: red" He stood and thought. The pub, he thought. Oh dear, the pub. He vaguely remembered being + angry, angry about + something that seemed important. He'd been telling people about it, telling people about it at great + length, he + rather suspected: his clearest visual recollection was of glazed looks on other people's faces.

+

Something about a new bypass he had just found out about. It had been in the pipeline for months only no one + seemed + to have known about it. Ridiculous. He took a swig of water. It would sort itself out, he'd decided, no + one + wanted a bypass, the council didn't have a leg to stand on. It would sort itself out.

+

God what a terrible hangover it had earned him though. He looked at himself in the wardrobe mirror.

+

style="color: red" He stuck out his tongue. "Yellow," he thought. The word yellow wandered through + his mind in search + of + something to connect with.

+

Fifteen seconds later he was out of the house and lying in front of a big yellow bulldozer that was + advancing up his + garden path.

+

Mr L Prosser was, as they say, only human. In other words he was a carbon-based life form descended from an + ape. + More specifically he was forty, fat and shabby and worked for the local council. Curiously enough, though he + didn't know it, he was also a direct male-line descendant of Genghis Khan, though intervening + generations and + racial mixing had so juggled his genes that he had no discernible Mongoloid characteristics, and the only + vestiges + lef style="color: red"t in Mr L Prosser of his mighty ancestry were a pronounced stoutness about the tum and + a predilection for + little + fur hats.

+

He was by no means a great warrior: in fact he was a nervous worried man. Today he was particularly nervous + and + worried because something had gone seriously wrong with his job - which was to see that Arthur Dent's + house got + cle style="color: red"ared out of the way before the day was out.

+

"Come off it, Mr Dent,", he said, "you can't win you know. You can't lie in front of + the + bulldozer indefinitely." He tried to make his eyes blaze fiercely but they just wouldn't do it.

+

Arthur lay in the mud and squelched at him.

+

"I'm game," he said, "we'll see who rusts first." "I'm afraid + you're going + to have to accept it," said Mr Prosser gripping his fur hat and rolling it round the top of his head, + "this bypass has got to be built and it's going to be built!" "First I've heard of + it," + said Arthur, "why's it going to be built?" Mr Prosser shook his finger at him for a bit, then + stopped + and put it away again.

+

"What do you mean, why's it got to be built?" he said. "It's a bypass. You've got + to + build bypasses." Bypasses are devices which allow some people to drive from point A to point B very + fast whilst + other people dash from point B to point A very fast. People living at point C, being a point directly in + between, + are often given to wonder what's so great about point A that so many people of point B are so keen to + get there, + and what's so great about point B that so many people of point A are so keen to get there.

+

They often wish that people would just once and for all work out where the hell they wanted to be.

+

Mr Prosser wanted to be at point D. Point D wasn't anywhere in particular, it was just any convenient + point a + very long way from points A, B and C. He would have a nice little cottage at point D, with axes over the + door, and + spend a pleasant amount of time at point E, which would be the nearest pub to point D. His wife of course + wanted + climbing roses, but he wanted axes. He didn't know why - he just liked axes. He flushed hotly under the + derisive + grins of the bulldozer drivers.

+

He shifted his weight from foot to foot, but it was equally uncomfortable on each. Obviously somebody had + been + appallingly incompetent and he hoped to God it wasn't him.

+

Mr Prosser said: "You were quite entitled to make any suggestions or protests at the appropriate time + you + know." "Appropriate time?" hooted Arthur. "Appropriate time? The first I knew about it + was when + a workman arrived at my home yesterday. I asked him if he'd come to clean the windows and he said no + he'd + come to demolish the house. He didn't tell me straight away of course. Oh no. First he wiped a couple of + windows + and charged me a fiver. Then he told me." "But Mr Dent, the plans have been available in the local + planning office for the last nine month." "Oh yes, well as soon as I heard I went straight round + to see + them, yesterday afternoon. You hadn't exactly gone out of your way to call attention to them had you? I + mean + like actually telling anybody or anything." "But the plans were on display ..." "On + display? I + eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them." "That's the display department." + "With a torch."

+

"Ah, well the lights had probably gone." "So had the stairs." "But look, you found + the + notice didn't you?" "Yes," said Arthur, "yes I did. It was on display in the bottom + of a + locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying Beware of the + Leopard." A + cloud passed overhead. It cast a shadow over Arthur Dent as he lay propped up on his elbow in the cold mud. + It cast + a shadow over Arthur Dent's house. Mr Prosser frowned at it.

+

"It's not as if it's a particularly nice house," he said.

+

"I'm sorry, but I happen to like it." "You'll like the bypass." "Oh shut + up," + said Arthur Dent. "Shut up and go away, and take your bloody bypass with you. You haven't got a leg + to + stand on and you know it." Mr Prosser's mouth opened and closed a couple of times while his mind + was for a + moment filled with inexplicable but terribly attractive visions of Arthur Dent's house being consumed + with fire + and Arthur himself running screaming from the blazing ruin with at least three hefty spears protruding from + his + back.

+

style="color: red" Mr Prosser was often bothered with visions like these and they made him feel very + nervous. He stuttered for + a moment + and then pulled himself together.

+

"Mr Dent," he said.

+

"Hello? Yes?" said Arthur.

+

"Some factual information for you. Have you any idea how much damage that bulldozer would suffer if I + just let + it roll straight over you?" "How much?" said Arthur.

+

"None at all," said Mr Prosser, and stormed nervously off wondering why his brain was filled with + a + thousand hairy horsemen all shouting at him.

+

By a curious coincidence, None at all is exactly how much suspicion the ape-descendant Arthur Dent had that + one of + his closest friends was not descended from an ape, but was in fact from a small planet in the vicinity of + Betelgeuse + and not from Guildford as he usually claimed.

+

Arthur Dent had never, ever suspected this.

+

This friend of his had first arrived on the planet some fifteen Earth years previously, and he had worked + hard to + blend himself into Earth society - with, it must be said, some success. For instance he had spent those + fifteen + years pretending to be an out of work actor, which was plausible enough.

+

He had made one careless blunder though, because he had skimped a bit on his preparatory research. The + information + he style="color: red"had gathered had led him to choose the name "Ford Prefect" as being nicely + inconspicuous.

+

He was not conspicuously tall, his features were striking but not conspicuously handsome. His hair was wiry + and + gingerish and brushed backwards from the temples. His skin seemed to be pulled backwards from the nose. + There was + something very slightly odd about him, but it was difficult to say what it was. Perhaps it was that his eyes + didn't blink often enough and when you talked to him for any length of time your eyes began + involuntarily to + water on his behalf. Perhaps it was that he smiled slightly too broadly and gave people the unnerving + impression + that he was about to go for their neck.

+

He struck most of the friends he had made on Earth as an eccentric, but a harmless one -- an unruly boozer + with some + oddish habits. For instance he would often gatecrash university parties, get badly drunk and start making + fun of any + astrophysicist he could find till he got thrown out.

+

Sometimes he would get seized with oddly distracted moods and stare into the sky as if hypnotized until + someone + asked him what he was doing. Then he would start guiltily for a moment, relax and grin.

+

"Oh, just looking for flying saucers," he would joke and everyone would laugh and ask him what + sort of + flying saucers he was looking for.

+

"Green ones!" he would reply with a wicked grin, laugh wildly for a moment and then suddenly lunge + for the + nearest bar and buy an enormous round of drinks.

+

Evenings like this usually ended badly. Ford would get out of his skull on whisky, huddle into a corner with + some + gir style="color: red"l and explain to her in slurred phrases that honestly the colour of the flying saucers + didn't matter + that + much really.

+

Thereafter, staggering semi-paralytic down the night streets he would often ask passing policemen if they + knew the + way to Betelgeuse. The policemen would usually say something like, "Don't you think it's about + time you + went off home sir?" "I'm trying to baby, I'm trying to," is what Ford invariably + replied on + these occasions.

+

style="color: red" In fact what he was really looking out for when he stared distractedly into the night sky + was any kind of + flying + saucer at all. The reason he said green was that green was the traditional space livery of the Betelgeuse + trading + scouts.

+

Ford Prefect was desperate that any flying saucer at all would arrive soon because fifteen years was a long + time to + get stranded anywhere, particularly somewhere as mindboggingly dull as the Earth.

+

Ford wished that a flying saucer would arrive soon because he knew how to flag flying saucers down and get + lifts + from them. He knew how to see the Marvels of the Universe for less than thirty Altairan dollars a day.

+

In fact, Ford Prefect was a roving researcher for that wholly remarkable book The Hitch Hiker's Guide to + the + Galaxy.

+

Human beings are great adaptors, and by lunchtime life in the environs of Arthur's house had settled + into a + steady routine. It was Arthur's accepted role to lie squelching in the mud making occasional demands to + see his + lawyer, his mother or a good book; it was Mr Prosser's accepted role to tackle Arthur with the + occasional new + ploy such as the For the Public Good talk, the March of Progress talk, the They Knocked My House Down Once + You Know, + Never Looked Back talk and various other cajoleries and threats; and it was the bulldozer drivers' + accepted role + to sit around drinking coffee and experimenting with union regulations to see how they could turn the + situation to + their financial advantage.

+

The Earth moved slowly in its diurnal course.

+

The sun was beginning to dry out the mud Arthur lay in.

+

A shadow moved across him again.

+

"Hello Arthur," said the shadow.

+

Arthur looked up and squinting into the sun was startled to see Ford Prefect standing above him.

+

"Ford! Hello, how are you?" "Fine," said Ford, "look, are you busy?" "Am + I + busy?" exclaimed Arthur. "Well, I've just got all these bulldozers and things to lie in front + of + because they'll knock my house down if I don't, but other than that ... well, no not especially, + why?" + They don't have sarcasm on Betelgeuse, and Ford Prefect often failed to notice it unless he was + concentrating. + He said, "Good, is there anywhere we can talk?" "What?" said Arthur Dent.

+

style="color: red" For a few seconds Ford seemed to ignore him, and stared fixedly into the sky like a + rabbit trying to get run + over by + a car. Then suddenly he squatted down beside Arthur.

+

"We've got to talk," he said urgently.

+

"Fine," said Arthur, "talk." "And drink," said Ford. "It's vitally + important + that we talk and drink. Now. We'll go to the pub in the village." He looked into the sky again, + nervous, + expectant.

+

"Look, don't you understand?" shouted Arthur. He pointed at Prosser. "That man wants to + knock my + house down!" Ford glanced at him, puzzled.

+

"Well he can do it while you're away can't he?" he asked.

+

"But I don't want him to!" "Ah."

+

"Look, what's the matter with you Ford?" said Arthur.

+

"Nothing. Nothing's the matter. Listen to me - I've got to tell you the most important thing + you've + ever heard. I've got to tell you now, and I've got to tell you in the saloon bar of the Horse and + Gro style="color: red"om." "But why?" "Because you are going to need a very stiff + drink." Ford stared + at + Arthur, and Arthur was astonished to find that his will was beginning to weaken. He didn't realize that + this was + because of an old drinking game that Ford learned to play in the hyperspace ports that served the madranite + mining + belts in the star system of Orion Beta.

+

The game was not unlike the Earth game called Indian Wrestling, and was played like this: Two contestants + would sit + either side of a table, with a glass in front of each of them.

+

Between them would be placed a bottle of Janx Spirit (as immortalized in that ancient Orion mining song + "Oh + don't give me none more of that Old Janx Spirit/ No, don't you give me none more of that Old Janx + Spirit/ + For my head will fly, my tongue will lie, my eyes will fry and I may die/ Won't you pour me one more of + that + sinful Old Janx Spirit").

+

Each of the two contestants would then concentrate their will on the bottle and attempt to tip it and pour + spirit + into the glass of his opponent - who would then have to drink it.

+

The bottle would then be refilled. The game would be played again. And again.

+

Once you started to lose you would probably keep losing, because one of the effects of Janx spirit is to + depress + telepsychic power.

+

style="color: red" As soon as a predetermined quantity had been consumed, the final loser would have to + perform a forfeit, + which was + usually obscenely biological.

+

Ford Prefect usually played to lose.

+

style="color: red" Ford stared at Arthur, who began to think that perhaps he did want to go to the Horse and + Groom after all. +

+

"But what about my house ...?" he asked plaintively.

+

Ford looked across to Mr Prosser, and suddenly a wicked thought struck him.

+

"He wants to knock your house down?" "Yes, he wants to build ..." "And he can't + because + you're lying in front of the bulldozers?" "Yes, and ..." "I'm sure we can come + to some + arrangement," said Ford. "Excuse me!" he shouted.

+

Mr Prosser (who was arguing with a spokesman for the bulldozer drivers about whether or not Arthur Dent + constituted + a mental health hazard, and how much they should get paid if he did) looked around. He was surprised and + slightly + alarmed to find that Arthur had company.

+

"Yes? Hello?" he called. "Has Mr Dent come to his senses yet?" "Can we for the + moment," called Ford, "assume that he hasn't?" "Well?" sighed Mr Prosser.

+

"And can we also assume," said Ford, "that he's going to be staying here all day?" + "So?" "So all your men are going to be standing around all day doing nothing?" + "Could be, + could be ..." "Well, if you're resigned to doing that anyway, you don't actually need him + to lie + here all the time do you?" "What?" "You don't," said Ford patiently, + "actually + need him here." Mr Prosser thought about this.

+

"Well no, not as such...", he said, "not exactly need ..." Prosser was worried. He + thought that + one of them wasn't making a lot of sense.

+

Ford said, "So if you would just like to take it as read that he's actually here, then he and I + could slip + off down to the pub for half an hour. How does that sound?" Mr Prosser thought it sounded perfectly + potty.

+

"That sounds perfectly reasonable," he said in a reassuring tone of voice, wondering who he was + trying to + reassure.

+

"And if you want to pop off for a quick one yourself later on," said Ford, "we can always + cover up + for you in return." "Thank you very much," said Mr Prosser who no longer knew how to play + this at + all, "thank you very much, yes, that's very kind ..." He frowned, then smiled, then tried to + do both + at once, failed, grasped hold of his fur hat and rolled it fitfully round the top of his head. He could only + assume + that he had just won.

+

"So," continued Ford Prefect, "if you would just like to come over here and lie down + ..." + "What?" said Mr Prosser.

+

"Ah, I'm sorry," said Ford, "perhaps I hadn't made myself fully clear. Somebody's + got to + lie in front of the bulldozers haven't they? Or there won't be anything to stop them driving into Mr + Dent's house will there?" "What?" said Mr Prosser again.

+

"It's very simple," said Ford, "my client, Mr Dent, says that he will stop lying here in + the mud + on the sole condition that you come and take over from him." "What are you talking about?" + said + Arthur, but Ford nudged him with his shoe to be quiet.

+

"You want me," said Mr Prosser, spelling out this new thought to himself, "to come and lie + there + ..." "Yes." "In front of the bulldozer?" "Yes." "Instead of Mr + Dent." + "Yes." "In the mud." "In, as you say it, the mud." As soon as Mr Prosser + realized that + he was substantially the loser after all, it was as if a weight lifted itself off his shoulders: this was + more like + the world as he knew it. He sighed.

+

"In return for which you will take Mr Dent with you down to the pub?" "That's it," + said + Ford. "That's it exactly." Mr Prosser took a few nervous steps forward and stopped.

+

"Promise?" "Promise," said Ford. He turned to Arthur.

+

"Come on," he said to him, "get up and let the man lie down." Arthur stood up, feeling + as if he + was in a dream.

+

Ford beckoned to Prosser who sadly, awkwardly, sat down in the mud. He felt that his whole life was some + kind of + dre style="color: red"am and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it. The mud + folded itself round + his + bottom and his arms and oozed into his shoes.

+

Ford looked at him severely.

+

"And no sneaky knocking down Mr Dent's house whilst he's away, alright?" he said.

+

"The mere thought," growled Mr Prosser, "hadn't even begun to speculate," he + continued, + settling himself back, "about the merest possibility of crossing my mind." He saw the bulldozer + driver's union representative approaching and let his head sink back and closed his eyes. He was trying + to + marshal his arguments for proving that he did not now constitute a mental health hazard himself. He was far + from + certain about this - his mind seemed to be full of noise, horses, smoke, and the stench of blood. This + always + happened when he felt miserable and put upon, and he had never been able to explain it to himself. In a high + dimension of which we know nothing the mighty Khan bellowed with rage, but Mr Prosser only trembled slightly + and + whi style="color: red"mpered. He began to fell little pricks of water

+

behind the eyelids. Bureaucratic cock-ups, angry men lying in the mud, indecipherable strangers handing out + inexplicable humiliations and an unidentified army of horsemen laughing at him in his head - what a day.

+

What a day. Ford Prefect knew that it didn't matter a pair of dingo's kidneys whether Arthur's + house got + knocked down or not now.

+

Arthur remained very worried.

+

"But can we trust him?" he said.

+

"Myself I'd trust him to the end of the Earth," said Ford.

+

"Oh yes," said Arthur, "and how far's that?" "About twelve minutes away," + said + Ford, "come on, I need a drink."

+ +
+ + + + + + + + \ No newline at end of file