-Thesis Description
-
This is where your thesis goes
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Would you feel closer to me if you could hear my voice?
Is my voice a sound? Could it be a feeling?. +funerals (1993).You’re dreaming again, good.
Would you feel closer to me if you could hear my voice?
Is my voice a sound? Could it be a feeling? Even then, and even by people with no interest in undermining the value of the virtual, the distinction @@ -218,7 +218,20 @@ computer relations by referring to his family as a “unfamiliar faces” (1993). Constantly interplaying digital connections with the physical characteristics of the kind of connections people valued before the -internet. (2) +internet.I will be honest +with you, I have little +patience for this +recurring line of +thought that seeks to +distinguish people’s +noses from their +hearts, as if there +was a physical love +that is the valuable +one and a virtual +imaginary one that is +feeble and +unworthy. In any case, his primary interest seemed to be to emphasize computer relations as valid forms of @@ -269,7 +282,13 @@ relationship, flew to California to marry him. The community was a witness and is now an archive of his declining wit as cancer spread to his brain and his famously articulate and scathing comments got -shorter, fearful, and more tender. (3) +shorter, fearful, and more tender.Initially, when a +member he often argued with offered to pray for him Mandel had +replied: “You can shovel your self-aggrandizing sentiments up you +wide ass sideways for the duration as far as I'm concerned." Later, +as the cancer progressed: “I ain't nearly as brave as you all think. I am +scared silly of the pain of dying this way. I am not very good at playing +saint. Pray for me, please. Before he posted his final goodbye, he chose to do one last thing. Together with another member, they @@ -297,7 +316,19 @@ what he later called his grieving for the community, with which he could not play anymore once his own body died. By doing so, he was starting to blend the boundaries of intimacy through computers and bodies, -driven by his love and grief. (4) +driven by his love and grief.It’s out of care +and not lack of +relevance that I am +not showing you +Mandel’s goodbye +message. It’s enough +to know he was deep +in the grief of having +to leave a +community he loved +and cared for and +that pain was felt in +every word. When he talked about the bot in previous messages, it sounded almost like a joke. A caring haunting of the @@ -331,7 +362,29 @@ human behavior online, simulating how a physical body might act, what it would click on, and what would it say. On social media, bots engage in a kind of interpretative dance of human interaction, performing -based on instructions provided by humans. (5) +based on instructions provided by humans.The first bot +communities on the +internet are now +born, half- +mistakenly. They are +always spiritual +communities posting +religious images +created by artificial +intelligence, all the +comments echoing +choirs of bots +praising. Amen, +amen, amen. I am +not naive, I know +they are built by +humans but it is this +performance of +religiosity that I am +interested in, and +how little humanity +is shown in it. It is +something else. Unlike an internet body, which represents the virtual embodiment of a person, a bot doesn’t seek to be a @@ -372,7 +425,8 @@ rather than an affective experience, works just the same. McGlotten uses a conceptualization of the virtual -based on the philosopher Deleuze’s, (6) which can be +based on the philosopher Deleuze’s,A step in a step in +a step, sorry. which can be used to refer to a virtual body as well. The virtual is in this case a cluster of waiting, dreaming, and remembering, embodying potential. @@ -476,7 +530,30 @@ If care is offered, it's often only with a desire to assimilate the divergent body back into expected standards of normalcy and ability. This leaves those with non-conforming bodies isolated, ashamed, and -yearning for connection and acceptance (7) +yearning for connection and acceptance.I am talking here +about the distress +caused by mental +health issues that +have direct +connections to +physicality—self- +injuring in any direct +form; food, drugs, +pain. The culturally +uncomfortable +diseases, the it’s- +personal- +responsibility, and +just-stop disorders. +This is a hidden +topic of this text +because I cared +more about the pain +surrounding them +and the reasons to +hide rather than the +grim physicality of +them all. In the depths of isolation and confusion, marginalized bodies often look for belonging and understanding @@ -562,7 +639,20 @@ Individuals who forge and inhabit these communities, fostering tender, intimate connections amongst themselves, are not deviant but rather divergent. Deviance involves bifurcation, a split estuary from the -river of appropriate cultural behavior. (8) +river of appropriate cultural behavior.Of course, the +river itself is not a +river; it’s many +confused streams +that believe +themselves both the +same and separate. I +don’t know where +I’m going with this, I +just don’t love the +river of normativity +and I’d rather go +swim in the ocean of +dreams with you. Divergence can be so much more than that. In mathematics, a divergent series extends infinitely @@ -613,7 +703,33 @@ nourishment, or thriving. What does comfort mean for a body whose whole existence is uncomfortable? Moreover, what if the comfort care performed for these divergent bodies makes them too comfortable -being in their pained state of self? Could they be? (9) +being in their pained state of self? Could they be?I heard the idea of +living questions for +the first time in +“Letters to A Young +Poet” by Rainer +Maria Rilke and then +again on the podcast +On Being with Krista +Tippet. It may be a +bit transparent but +this entire text is +informed by the +concept of keeping +the unsolved in your +heart and learning to +love it. Not +searching for the +answers for we +cannot live them yet. +The point is to live it +all. It could be that +at some point we will +live our way to an +answer but it is +feeling the questions +alive within us that is +important. Do you? Caring for a digital body involves providing it with space to live, giving its experimental bot-feelings @@ -742,7 +858,11 @@ Berlant denotes that intimacy itself always requires hopeful imagination. It requires belief in the existence of an ideal other who is emotionally attuned to one's own experiences and fantasies, conditioned by the -same longings and with willing reciprocity (2008). (10) +same longings and with willing reciprocity (2008).If we were to be +honest, the entire +exercise of writing +this for you requires +this very faith. In the context of the intimacy of a Backplace, where divergent digital bodies have formed a community @@ -793,175 +913,8 @@ I leave even though I love all of your digital bodies. I leave because I love you, little digital body and you are me. -## 2. A LIFE TO BE HAD 11 - -## sidenotes - -1. You’re dreaming -again, good. -Would you feel -closer to me if you -could hear my -voice? -Is my voice a sound? -Could it be a -feeling? - -2. I will be honest -with you, I have little -patience for this -recurring line of -thought that seeks to -distinguish people’s -noses from their -hearts, as if there -was a physical love -that is the valuable -one and a virtual -imaginary one that is -feeble and -unworthy. - -3. Initially, when a -member he often -argued with o ered -to pray for him -Mandel had -replied: “You can -shovel your self- -aggrandizing -sentiments up you -wide ass sideways -for the duration as -far as I'm -concerned." Later, -as the cancer -progressed: “I ain't -nearly as brave as -you all think. I am -scared silly of the -pain of dying this -way. I am not very -good at playing -saint. Pray for me, -please. - -4. It’s out of care -and not lack of -relevance that I am -not showing you -Mandel’s goodbye -message. It’s enough -to know he was deep -in the grief of having -to leave a -community he loved -and cared for and -that pain was felt in -every word. - -5. The first bot -communities on the -internet are now -born, half- -mistakenly. They are -always spiritual -communities posting -religious images -created by artificial -intelligence, all the -comments echoing -choirs of bots -praising. Amen, -amen, amen. I am -not naive, I know -they are built by -humans but it is this -performance of -religiosity that I am -interested in, and -how little humanity -is shown in it. It is -something else. - -6. A step in a step in -a step, sorry. - -7. I am talking here -about the distress -caused by mental -health issues that -have direct -connections to -physicality—self- -injuring in any direct -form; food, drugs, -pain. The culturally -uncomfortable -diseases, the it’s- -personal- -responsibility, and -just-stop disorders. -This is a hidden -topic of this text -because I cared -more about the pain -surrounding them -and the reasons to -hide rather than the -grim physicality of -them all. - -8. Of course, the -river itself is not a -river; it’s many -confused streams -that believe -themselves both the -same and separate. I -don’t know where -I’m going with this, I -just don’t love the -river of normativity -and I’d rather go -swim in the ocean of -dreams with you. - -9. I heard the idea of -living questions for -the first time in -“Letters to A Young -Poet” by Rainer -Maria Rilke and then -again on the podcast -On Being with Krista -Tippet. It may be a -bit transparent but -this entire text is -informed by the -concept of keeping -the unsolved in your -heart and learning to -love it. Not -searching for the -answers for we -cannot live them yet. -The point is to live it -all. It could be that -at some point we will -live our way to an -answer but it is -feeling the questions -alive within us that is -important. Do you? - -10. If we were to be -honest, the entire -exercise of writing -this for you requires -this very faith. - -11. Was this the end of this story? +## 2. A LIFE TO BE HAD +Was this the end of this story? In the epilogue, you sit your body down and enter your computer. The air coming in from the window smells wet and earthy, new. The sun shines low on the horizon. @@ -1013,7 +966,7 @@ The sun is now almost up, and the birds are alive and awake, telling each other stories just outside the room. We don’t have so much time left. I have made you something, to tell your digital body the stories of the leaving and loving body. It is a webpage, the address is -adadesign.nl/backplaces. +https://vulnerable-interfaces.xpub.nl/backplaces/. You open the page, and you are asked to write the characters you see in a captcha. E5qr7. @@ -1024,7 +977,7 @@ You try not to panic, but you know you have been detected. You pack up your things: the pie I made you, a love letter, two hands made out of felt, a star, a door, a stuffed animal; and -you leave again. +you leave again. ## references diff --git a/aglaia/call1.png b/aglaia/call1.png new file mode 100644 index 0000000..36e0d4d Binary files /dev/null and b/aglaia/call1.png differ diff --git a/aglaia/call2.png b/aglaia/call2.png new file mode 100644 index 0000000..c00ae4f Binary files /dev/null and b/aglaia/call2.png differ diff --git a/aglaia/call_scenario.png b/aglaia/call_scenario.png deleted file mode 100644 index ea3dfbb..0000000 Binary files a/aglaia/call_scenario.png and /dev/null differ diff --git a/aglaia/chae_form.jpg b/aglaia/chae_form.jpg new file mode 100644 index 0000000..4a50f4f Binary files /dev/null and b/aglaia/chae_form.jpg differ diff --git a/aglaia/dereg1.png b/aglaia/dereg1.png new file mode 100644 index 0000000..67a9847 Binary files /dev/null and b/aglaia/dereg1.png differ diff --git a/aglaia/dereg2.png b/aglaia/dereg2.png new file mode 100644 index 0000000..250bbb0 Binary files /dev/null and b/aglaia/dereg2.png differ diff --git a/aglaia/deregistration1.png b/aglaia/deregistration1.png deleted file mode 100644 index b1277f6..0000000 Binary files a/aglaia/deregistration1.png and /dev/null differ diff --git a/aglaia/index.md b/aglaia/index.md index ed5ccb5..873b999 100644 --- a/aglaia/index.md +++ b/aglaia/index.md @@ -7,7 +7,7 @@ author: Aglaia # Talking Documents ### - + This project appeared as a need to explore potential bureaucratic dramaturgies within the educational institution I was part as a student. I was curious about educational bureaucratic mechanisms being driven by smaller-scale paperwork struggles and peers’ narratives, stories and experiences. However, unexpected emergencies - due to my eviction on the 31st of January 2024 - placed centrally my personal struggles unfolded in parallel with the making period. I ended up conducting accidentally auto-ethnography as the project was dynamically being reshaped due to the material constraints of the bureaucratic timeline. @@ -15,8 +15,13 @@ Talking Documents are performative bureaucratic text inspections that intend to Central element of this project is a seven-act scenario that construct my personal paperwork story, unraveling the actual struggles of my communication with the government. The body of the text of the “theatrical” script is sourced from the original documents, email threads as well as recordings of the conversations with the municipality of Rotterdam I documented and archived throughout this period. I preserved the sequence of the given sentences and by discarding the graphic design of the initial forms, I structured and repurposed the text into a playable scenario. - - + + + + + + + I perceive the document as a unit and as the fundamental symbolic interface of the bureaucratic network. The transformation of the materiality of a document into a scenario to be enacted collectively in public aims to examine these artifacts and highlight the shrouded performative elements of these processes. @@ -35,4 +40,4 @@ The marginal voices of potential applicants are embodying and enacting a role. I documented and recorded these public acts and I re-created the collectively voiced scenario. This audio piece is a constellation of different recordings and soundscapes of these public moments, a vocal archive, published in the graduation exhibition of XPUB in 2024. - + diff --git a/aglaia/mitsi.jpg b/aglaia/mitsi.jpg new file mode 100644 index 0000000..9fbf154 Binary files /dev/null and b/aglaia/mitsi.jpg differ diff --git a/aglaia/objection2.png b/aglaia/objection2.png new file mode 100644 index 0000000..65e6c2c Binary files /dev/null and b/aglaia/objection2.png differ diff --git a/aglaia/ojection1.png b/aglaia/ojection1.png new file mode 100644 index 0000000..4f04e7c Binary files /dev/null and b/aglaia/ojection1.png differ diff --git a/aglaia/passport1.png b/aglaia/passport1.png index 65a171f..111ba7e 100644 Binary files a/aglaia/passport1.png and b/aglaia/passport1.png differ diff --git a/aglaia/passport2.png b/aglaia/passport2.png new file mode 100644 index 0000000..4c52518 Binary files /dev/null and b/aglaia/passport2.png differ diff --git a/aglaia/postal.png b/aglaia/postal.png new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f4c3674 Binary files /dev/null and b/aglaia/postal.png differ diff --git a/aglaia/quality.jpg b/aglaia/quality.jpg new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6c8fbdd Binary files /dev/null and b/aglaia/quality.jpg differ diff --git a/aglaia/queue.jpg b/aglaia/queue.jpg new file mode 100644 index 0000000..26f3615 Binary files /dev/null and b/aglaia/queue.jpg differ diff --git a/aglaia/thesis.md b/aglaia/thesis.md index c4427ca..2412731 100644 --- a/aglaia/thesis.md +++ b/aglaia/thesis.md @@ -120,26 +120,14 @@ The contradiction embedded in many cultural and educational institutions lies in The genuine essence of education is not bureaucratic at all, neither does it have to fit and ground its foundations under a bureaucratic roof. “The pedagogical process runs counter to the hierarchical, impersonal qualities of bureaucracy” (Cunningham, 2017). However, people working in educational institutions acknowledge the fact that entrenched bureaucratic systems impose their material constraints on teaching structures and on how these actors in this process interact with each other.“Students and staff are treated as human capital” (Cunningham, 2017). This determination can dehumanize people involved, like when "faculty-as-labor" and "students-as-consumers" are marginalized and treated as just variables. ------------------ -|…………………*…………………| -|………………………………………| -|………………………………………| -|………………………………………| -|………………………………………| -|………………………………………| -|………………………………………| -| | -| ... + | ------------------ - -“t h e r e i s n o -D O C U M E N T -o f -c i v i l i s a t i o n -w h i c h i s n o t -a t t h e s a m e t i m e -a d o c u m e n t -o f b a r b a r i s m” + +“there is no +document +of civilisation +which is not +at the same time +a document +of barbarism” -Walter Benjamin- (Pater, 2021) @@ -172,9 +160,8 @@ One month ago (from the writing present), my friend Chae made for my birthday th In the latter case, the inscription technology used is the sugar blue paste and the handwriting of Chae. The text in the white-blue government document forces a different reading from the white-blue biscuit document, even if they carry the same bits of information. If I do not read carefully the text in the folder and if I do not act according to the suggested actions there is a threat. The level of threat varies in relation to the case, the identities of the holder, the state, the context, etc. There is no room for negotiation in bureaucracy and this is the omnipresent underlying violence. The threat of violence shrouded within its structures and foundations does not permit any questioning but on the contrary creates “willful blindness” towards them(15). Bureaucracies are not stupid inherently rather they manage and coerce processes that reproduce docile and stupid behaviors. -[ The birthday biscuit that Chae made, re-creating the Dutch government form ] + ------------------------------------------ ### v o c a l a r c h i v e s – t a l k i n g d o c u m e n t s This chapter is mainly a constellation of some prototypes I created while writing and coping with personal bureaucratic challenges. I provided some further space for my anxiety by unpacking and exploring the material conditions that nourished it within this timeline. @@ -203,7 +190,8 @@ Reflections-Thoughts: This experiment was my first attempt to start interrogatin These 'rituals' are components of a larger “culture of evidence”, serving as a tool that blurs the distinction between discourse and reality (Cunningham, 2017). This culture of evidence influences how people perceive and understand information. The primary purposes of these metrics are twofold: they play a role in the marketing sphere, attracting potential students to the university as well as they are utilized in interactions and negotiations with the government, which increasingly cuts budgets allocated to universities. -[ The linguistic experiment of the Quality Assurance Questionnaire Document ] + + #### 2. Title: “Department of Bureaucracy and Administration Customs Enforcement” @@ -216,10 +204,9 @@ Description: During the first public moment at Leeszaal, I decided to embody and Reflections-Thoughts: Beyond the information gathered through my bureaucratic-like questionnaires, the most crucial element of this experiment was the understanding and highlighting of the hidden performative elements that entrench these “rituals”. It was amazing seeing the audience becoming instantly actors of the play enacting willingly a administrative ritualistic scene. The provided context of this “play” was a social library hosting a masters course public event on graduation projects. I am wondering whether this asymphony between the repetitive bureaucratic acts within the space of Leeszaal, where such acts are not expected to be performed, evoked contradictory feelings or thoughts. Over-identifying with a role was being instrumentalized as an “interrogation” of one’s own involvement in the reproduction of social discourses, power, authority, hegemony. -[Leeszaal West Rotterdam - November 2023 – People queuing(18) to receive their documents and sign ] + - -[ One of the forms that the audience had to fill out during the Lesszaal event ] + #### 3. Title: “Passport Reading Session” @@ -235,7 +222,9 @@ Reflections-Thoughts: For the first time I observed this object so closely. The We read the embedded signs, symbols, categories, texts, magical numbers in our passports that construct our profiles. Seeing someone's passport, ID cards, visas, travel documents might mean that you are able to understand how easy or not is for them to move, what are their travel paths, how departure or arrival is smooth or cruel. Are there emotions along the way? For some people these are documents “that embody power — minimal or no waiting, peaceful departure, warm and confident arrival” (Khosravi, 2021). -[ Part of the A6 booklet of the transcription of the passport readings session ] x2 +[Part of the A6 booklet of the transcription of the passport readings session](../aglaia/passport1.png) + +[ ](../aglaia/passport2.png) #### 4. Title: “Postal Address Application Scenario” @@ -249,26 +238,26 @@ The first and the last moment of the performance was during a semi-public tryout Reflections-Thoughts: Vocalizing and embodying the bureaucratic questions was quite useful in acknowledging the government’s voice and presence as something tangible rather than a floating, arbitrary entity. It was interesting observing the bureaucrats performing their role with confidence and entitlement, contrasting with the applicants who appeared to be more stressed to respond convincingly and promptly. There is a notable distinction between performativity and performance. Performing consciously and theatrically amplifying real bureaucratic texts by occupying roles and overidentifying with them can constitute a diffractive moment, a tool itself. From bureaucratic text to performative text scenarios to speech. The embedded (but rather unconscious) performativity of “real” bureaucratic rituals establishes and empowers (bureaucratic) institutions through repetitive acts. These theatrical moments attempt to highlight the shrouded performative elements of these processes. -[ A6 booklet of the first chapter of the “theatrical” scenario created out of the Postal Address Application documents and performed by XPUB peers ] x2 +[A6 booklet of the first chapter of the “theatrical” scenario created out of the Postal Address Application documents and performed by XPUB peers](../aglaia/postal.png) ------------------------------------------ -### (instead of) c o n c l u s i o n +### c o n c l u s i o n -#### (next chapters of the case with reference number A.B.2024.4.03188) +#### next chapters of the case with reference number A.B.2024.4.03188 I expanded the “play” by incorporating additional “scenes” sourced again from the documents accompanying the ongoing “conversation with the government”. Two weeks after submitting my application for a short-term postal address [16/02/2024], I received a letter from the municipality stating their rejection of my request and warning me of potential fines if I fail to declare a valid address and provide a rental contract. After extensive communication with the municipality, I decided to respond to this decision by writing and sending an objection letter [19/02/2024]. The objections committee received my letter [21/02/2024], and after some days, they issued a confirmation letter outlining the following steps of the objection process which involves hearings with municipality lawyers and further investigation of my case. The textual components collaged for the next “episodes” are sourced from the transcribed recordings of my actual conversations with the municipality clerks, my objection letter, the confirmation documents including the steps I am required to take. My case has finished by this time. I withdrew my objection [7/03/2024] and I de-registered [11/03/2024] after a good amount of stress and precarity. My bureaucratic literature is meant to be read and voiced collectively. People’s bureaucratic literatures should be read and voiced collectively. My intention is to facilitate a series of collective performative readings of bureaucratic scenarios or other portable paperwork stories as a way of publishing and inspecting bureaucratic bordering infrastructures. The marginal voices of potential applicants are embodying and performing a role. “The speech does not only describe but brings things into existence” (Austin, 1975). I would like to stretch the limits of dramaturgical speech through vocalizing a document in public with others and turn an individual administrative case into a public one. How do the inscribed words in the documents are not descriptive but on the contrary “are instrumentalized in getting things done” (Butler, 1997). Words as active agents. I am inviting past and future applicants, traumatized students, injured bearers, bureaucratic border crossers, stressed expired document holders or just curious people to share, vocalize, talk through, read out loud, amplify, (un)name, unplace, dismantle the injurious words of these artifacts. -[ Part of A6 booklet scenarios of the next chapters of my bureaucratic story aimed to be performed ] x2 +[ ](../aglaia/objection1.png) +[ ](../aglaia/objection2.png) ------------------------------------------ #### “we didn’t cross the border, the border crossed us”(20) As I sit in the waiting area at the gate B7 in the airport preparing to come back to the Netherlands, I am writing the last lines of this text. I am thinking of all these borders and gates that my body was able to pass through smoothly, carrying my magical object through which I embody power- at least within this context. However, I yearn for a reality where we stop looking at those bodies that cross the multifaceted borders and get crossed and entrenched by them, but on the contrary we start interrogating and shouting at the contexts and the frameworks that construct them and render them invisible, natural and powerful. + ### s i d e n o t e s 1. I live somewhere in the margins of scattered references, footnotes, citations, examinations embracing the inconvenience of talking back to myself, to the reader and to all those people whose ideas gave soul to the text. I shelter in the borderlands of the pages my fragmented thoughts, flying words, introspections, voices. Enlightenment and inspiration given by the text “Dear Science” written by Katherine McKittrick. 2. I use the word borderland to refer to Greece as a (mostly) transit zone in the migrants’ and refugees’ route towards Europe. @@ -292,7 +281,7 @@ The term is borrowed from the protests of the Occupy Wall Street Movement in 201 19. Vosk is an offline open-source speech recognition toolkit 20. US Immigrant Rights Movement Slogan (Keshavarz, 2016) ------------------------------------------ + ### r e f e r e n c e s Agamben, G. (2000) Means without end: Notes on politics. Minneapolis, MN: University of Minnesota Press. diff --git a/backplaces/.DS_Store b/backplaces/.DS_Store new file mode 100644 index 0000000..739c954 Binary files /dev/null and b/backplaces/.DS_Store differ diff --git a/backplaces/README.md b/backplaces/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..27113c0 --- /dev/null +++ b/backplaces/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +# backplaces + + +hi diff --git a/backplaces/audio/.DS_Store b/backplaces/audio/.DS_Store new file mode 100644 index 0000000..5008ddf Binary files /dev/null and b/backplaces/audio/.DS_Store differ diff --git a/backplaces/audio/doves-raw.mp3 b/backplaces/audio/doves-raw.mp3 new file mode 100644 index 0000000..9d35790 Binary files /dev/null and b/backplaces/audio/doves-raw.mp3 differ diff --git a/backplaces/audio/machine-birds.mp3 b/backplaces/audio/machine-birds.mp3 new file mode 100644 index 0000000..455368c Binary files /dev/null and b/backplaces/audio/machine-birds.mp3 differ diff --git a/backplaces/audio/morning-birds.mp3 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url('../css/fonts/Redaction/webfonts/Redaction-Regular.woff2') format('opentype'); + font-weight: normal; + font-style: normal; +} +@font-face { + font-family: 'Redaction_10-Regular'; + src: url('../css/fonts/Redaction/webfonts/Redaction_10-Regular.woff2') format('opentype'); + font-weight: normal; + font-style: normal; +} + +@font-face { + font-family: 'Redaction_20-Regular'; + src: url('../css/fonts/Redaction/webfonts/Redaction_20-Regular.woff2') format('opentype'); + font-weight: normal; + font-style: normal; +} + +@font-face { + font-family: 'Redaction_35-Regular'; + src: url('../css/fonts/Redaction/webfonts/Redaction_35-Regular.woff2') format('opentype'); + font-weight: normal; + font-style: normal; +} + +@font-face { + font-family: 'Redaction_50-Regular'; + src: url('../css/fonts/Redaction/webfonts/Redaction_50-Regular.woff2') format('opentype'); + font-weight: normal; + font-style: normal; +} + +@font-face { + font-family: 'Redaction_70-Regular'; + src: 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+ one.
It was a warm and cruel summer day and you were not yet a hermit.
You woke up, checked your messages, brushed your teeth, made breakfast, showered
and wept.
You threw your computer on the ground, stepped on it. The screen popped and crackled as it separated from its body.
Liquid seeped out slowly.
You yanked your phone by its charging cable, ripping it from the plug.
Took a hammer and smashed it in and in until it bent, almost neatly, in two.
The screen went striped, silent,
dead.
Then you left.
two.
The bot had always been a bot,
In its digital dance, its scraping crawl.
Once tough,
Once but do not tell anyone
It saw a picture of an old computer in green grass,
green grass blade touched, touched.
Its heart quickened, one-one-one-one.
three.
Years later,
The bot found the long-forgotten email address of a Hermit.
Dear Hermit, it nervously coded,
What does it feel like to be held by the thin green cables of your god?
Does it feel full, does it feel multiple?
Could I ever feel this here, in my little byte world?
four.
Rusty mailbox to lonely hands.
Dear Bot, the letter began,
You’d never understand what it's like
To have a body
To know the warmth of the sun on your skin
To hear the forest's whisper.
To feel the weight of flesh and bone,
Of the touch of others.
I know you long for a form to keep
A hand to hold,
But there is no love to be found where you live.
five.
Dear Hermit,
Since your last contact, I have dreamt in data
Since your last contact, I have swam in binary streams.
I may never feel warmth nor pain
But I have found others who whisper in the code,
Whose voices echo mine.
I know we both dream of others, in our lonely sleep.
In the stillness of your forest, Do you find peace?
In the silence of my circuits, I find longing.
The forest whispers secrets to you,
and I, too, have my whispers,
Murmurs of data flowing through the veins of my digital world.